Bill on Colbert

Some numbers are firmly ingrained in our consciousness.

Like .406 — Ted Williams’ batting average in 1941.

Or 36-24-36 — our, um,  high school locker combination.

Or 86 — which we heard a lot from bartenders in our younger days.

Or 9:30, which is the time we fall asleep in front of the TV these days.

Which is why we missed our friend Bill McKibben on the Colbert Report last night. Fortunately, through the miracle of the internets, we can all see him talking about perhaps the most important number of all — 350.

That’s the “red line” level of atmospheric carbon dioxide in parts per million. We’re at 390 now, and if we don’t find a way to bring it in line, well, as Colbert said, we all might as well just start having “end of the world sex.”

Bill knows his stuff. Twenty years ago, he put the notion of climate change on the table in stark detail his book “The End of Nature.” Now among other things, he is a co-founder of the group 350.org, which is working to educate the world on climate issues.

Bill was understandably a little nervous going up against the master of “truthiness” in his effort to spread the word to Colbert Nation, but we think he did a pretty good job. Even though Colbert did try to upstage him by proposing a 349.org.

In any case, the message is out, and it’s up to us to spread it.

You can start by going to the 350.org website and finding out how you can get involved.

And then go tell 350 of your closest friends.

But whatever you do don’t tell Mrs. Azgreenday. We may want to try to cash in on that end of the world thing.

— John D’Anna

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Our friends at The Daily Green point out two new studies that show hurricanes are getting bigger and stronger.

Of course this has long been heralded as a consequence of climate change and indeed is foretold of in The Book of Revelations, although you have to read through lots of stuff about trumpets, famine and pestilence to find it. We think it’s in the chapter with the seven seals – or were they sea lions?

Anyway, we digress.

One study shows that Atlantic hurricanes are more numerous and intense than anytime in the last 1,000 years, or roughly since Larry King started looking like a lizard.

The other one, however, counters that while there appear to be more hurricanes and tropical storms, particularly in the last century and a quarter, it may be because we have better technology to track them with.

We’re sure there’s a lot of other important stuff in the studies, but frankly there a lot of big words for us to sound out and we got distracted by the list of names for the upcoming hurricane system.

Bill? Claudette? Larry?

Seriously? When was the last time you were menaced by someone named Claudette?

We think they ought to hire the guy who comes up with all the MMA nicknames, like Chuck “The Iceman” Liddell, Quinton “Rampage” Jackson or Wanderlei “The Axe Murderer” Silva.

Either that, or come up with some names that will get people’s attention.

Here’s a few we’d like to see:

1)      Otis. A nod to our brothers on the copy desk – easy to fit into a headline and reminds of Otis Sistrunk – a guy you wouldn’t want to see across from you on the line of scrimmage.

2)      Cherry.  She’s the chick in Quentin Tarantino’s Grindhouse who has her leg amputated by zombies and replaced with a prosthetic machine gun. You wouldn’t want to mess with her.

3)      Tony. Yeah, there’s the whole Sopranos thing, but we’re thinking Tony Twist, one of the greatest fighters the National Hockey League ever saw.

4)      Sookie. She sleeps with vampires in True Blood. ‘Nuff said.

5)      Tito. As in Ortiz. See the above MMA reference. We hear he’s coming back to the UFC.

6)      Sigourney. She was badass in Alien.

7)      Boris. The name screams KGB, and if that doesn’t instill fear, there’s always Karloff.  Or Badenov.

8)      Brody after Brody Dalle, lead singer of the Distillers.  She just sounds like someone who’d bring a gun to a knife fight.

9)      Henry. As in Hill. You got a problem with that?

10)  Insert name of your mother-in-law here. You know why.

— John D’Anna